Wentworth Miller discusses Prison Break 2016 and Suicidal Past
http://cashanime.blogspot.com/2016/03/wentworth-miller-discusses-prison-break.html
WENTWORTH MILLER'S FULL FACEBOOK POST
Today I found myself the subject of an Internet meme. Not for the first time.
This one, however, stands out from the rest.
In 2010, semi-retired from acting, I was keeping a low-profile for a number of reasons.
First and foremost, I was suicidal.
This is a subject I've since written about, spoken about, shared about.
But at the time I suffered in silence. As so many do. The extent of my struggle known to very, very few.
Ashamed
and in pain, I considered myself damaged goods. And the voices in my
head urged me down the path to self-destruction. Not for the first time.
I've
struggled with depression since childhood. It's a battle that's cost me
time, opportunities, relationships, and a thousand sleepless nights.
In
2010, at the lowest point in my adult life, I was looking everywhere
for relief/comfort/distraction. And I turned to food. It could have been
anything. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. But eating became the one thing I could
look forward to. Count on to get me through. There were stretches when
the highlight of my week was a favorite meal and a new episode of TOP
CHEF. Sometimes that was enough. Had to be.
And
I put on weight. Big f--king deal.One day, out for a hike in Los
Angeles with a friend, we crossed paths with a film crew shooting a
reality show. Unbeknownst to me, paparazzi were circling. They took my
picture, and the photos were published alongside images of me from
another time in my career. "Hunk To Chunk." "Fit To Flab." Etc.
My
mother has one of those "friends" who's always the first to bring you
bad news. They clipped one of these articles from a popular national
magazine and mailed it to her. She called me, concerned.
In 2010, fighting for my mental health, it was the last thing I needed.
Long story short, I survived.
So do those pictures.
I'm glad.
Now,
when I see that image of me in my red t-shirt, a rare smile on my face,
I am reminded of my struggle. My endurance and my perseverance in the
face of all kinds of demons. Some within. Some without.
Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist.
Anyway. Still. Despite.
The
first time I saw this meme pop up in my social media feed, I have to
admit, it hurt to breathe. But as with everything in life, I get to
assign meaning. And the meaning I assign to this/my image is Strength.
Healing. Forgiveness.
Of myself and others.
If
you or someone you know is struggling, help is available. Reach out.
Text. Send an email. Pick up the phone. Someone cares. They're waiting
to hear from you. Much love. - W.M.
www.afsp.org
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
www.activeminds.org
www.thetrevorproject.org
www.iasp.info
www.facebook.com/notes/wentworth-miller/flour-or-wheat/1653559881523614
